epiphany

I Am Not Naive.

I often get the impression that other people think that I'm naive. It drives me crazy and frustrates me to no end. Undoubtedly that is the fault of my own pride, but it does bother me nonetheless. I can think of two reasons for this idea about me.

First, some people I know seem to think that because I am a Christian, I am automatically uninformed about world events or the nature of mankind. Think what you will, I may have a deeper understanding and reasoning of the sources of evil behavior in our world because I am a Christian. The other day when discussing the recent abuse cases from Iraq, someone dismissed my concerns and ideas because the problem is "systemic." Yes, it is indeed systemic, but it doesn't end with the Secretary of Defense or the Bush administration, like I'm guessing that person thinks. The abuse is systemic because of the nature of man himself, not just because of control structures above him. Apart from external pressure and intervention, any one of us in that situation would eventually fall and degrade ourselves to the same extent that the prisoner abusers did. That is called Sin, and humanity is helpless against it.

(That said, I also believe that responsibility is inherent in the living of life, and the abusers should be punished severely. In my opinion, they ought to be tried and sentenced by the Iraqi people under Iraqi law since the crimes were committed on Iraqi soil and--in part--in the name of not only the USA but also law-abiding Iraqi citizens.)

More annoying to me, though, is when Christians give the idea that I'm naive. I have as much cynicism and sarcasm in me as anyone else, but my (overall) rejecting of those behaviors doesn't make me naive. When I willfully choose to find and hold onto the good in something, it isn't because I'm naive. I know that there are bad things out there. I know that just about everything can be misused. I know that people can't be trusted and sometimes try to use me. I know these things not just intellectually but experientially as well.

Am I blinded because I choose to focus on goodness? I'm sure I sometimes am. Don't I know that by trusting I'll end up being hurt? I have been hurt over and over again, normally by the same people or organizations. Yet I choose to keep allowing them the freedom to hurt me, not because I enjoy it or have some sort of emotional-masochist syndrome, but because I hope and desire that they will change. And change cannot be either proved or solidified in a person or organization's life apart from having another opportunity to do wrong.

The only way I know to fight life's creeping cynicism and bitterness is forgiveness. And in the process of forgiveness, one must be willing to trust, even when the other party is untrustworthy. As a child of God, I choose to imitate my Father. He offered his unconditional forgiveness to mankind through Jesus. It's as real and present as the air we breathe. Some recognize it and breathe deeply. Other's clench their fists and suffocate themselves. Me--I have asthma. I've never been good at holding my breath.

If that's naivety, then fine, I'm naive. But I'm not so naive that I don't know when people are thinking it about me.

Posted by at May 14, 2004 1:54 PM