"You who live in heaven,
Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth,
Who are afraid of being left by those we love,
And who get hardened in the hurt.
Do you remember what it's like
To live where we all scrape
To find the faith to ask for daily bread.
Did you forget about us
After you had gone away?
Well, I memorized every word you said.
Still, I'm so scared I'm holding my breath
While you're up there just playing hard to get.
"You who live in radience,
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin.
We have a love that's not as patient as yours was,
But we do love now and then.
Did you ever know lonliness?
Did you ever know need?
Do you remember just how long a night can get
When you are barely holding on
And your friends fall asleep
And don't see the blood that's running in your sweat?
Will those who mourn be left uncomforted
While you're up there just playing hard to get?
"And I know you bore our sorrows.
And I know you feel our pain.
And I know that it would not hurt any less
Even if it could be explained.
And I know that I am only lashing out
At the one who loves me most.
And after I have figured this out
All I really need to know is if
"You who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time,
Who can't see what's ahead and who cannot get free
From what we've left behind.
I'm reeling from these voices that keep ringing in my ears,
All these words of pain and doubt, shame and regret.
I can't see how you're leading me
Unless you've led me here,
Where I'm lost enough to let myself be led.
And so you've been here all along, I guess.
It's just you're ways and you
Are just plain hard to get."
--Rich Mullins
Ever have one of those really long, really bad days? Yesterday was like that. The weather was strange; I was unusually tired (for no good reason) both mentally and physically; I had a big argument with a friend who was trying to help me understand something.
I first heard this song by Rich Mullins on the way back to school after my dad's funeral. It's honesty really struck me, and it tends to come back whenever my life seems messed up. Last night after sanda (which was the one part of my day that went well), I was practicing my guitar and decided to figure out how to play it. I'm not good at it yet, but I think it's going to become a regular part of my practice sessions. If you'd like to hear the song, pick up Rich Mullin's Jesus Record, which is well worth owning. It's a two-disc set, and I prefer Rich's spare solo version on the "Jesus Demos" disk, recorded just three weeks before he died.
Posted by at March 11, 2004 8:49 AMi know this is probably not your main point, but i miss rich. i was just listening to derek webb's "the rich song" the other day, and it keeps going through my head..."whatcha been doin today, cause i been thinkin about you -- and i thank my God when i remember you."
in the last six months, i've had several reasons to exult in the Jesus and the grace that rich mullins celebrated. someone is borrowing my copy of "the Jesus record" right now, which rots (the fact that it's gone rots, that is).
hero is the best word i can think of for how rich reminds me to think of Jesus. i don't mean to say this in a way that diminishes Jesus Christ (i do realize that we use the term hero loosely these days for all sorts of non-divine spoofs of what true heroism is).
for instance, i meditate on the kind of incredible God-man who, because he is divinely human, has the capacity to FEEL to the nth ultimate degree. i think i'm broken over my friend's sin or a heart-wrenching tragedy, and i can undergo and generate a great deal of emotion, empathy, sympathy, what have you. but in the end, there's only so much that i as a finite human can DO about that pain.
Jesus can partake in our infirmities (i.e., the curse of sin and all the trials and offshoots of sin), he was fully human and knows the spectrum of human emotion. but as God, he could also go from the garden and get up on a cross and bear it away and raise himself out of the grave and take us with him. he can DO something about us.
i love that.
i just love that.
i love him.
don't you?
I miss Rich too. How long has it been? 7 years? I'm too tired to write anything else, but yeah, there are moments when I look at the world around me and the things that I've done or haven't done and through the cloud of overwhelming one of the songs comes ripping, dragging me to my knees, once more acknowledging, "Jesus, you're all I need. Please help me follow you, please help me find my road, my path, the way back to you."
Posted by: jeep at March 16, 2004 12:07 AMso hold me, Jesus
cause i'm shaking like a leaf
you have been my King of Glory
won't you be my Prince of Peace